Love You Finger People
Antaa Sormi’s reputation as a bad boy wasn’t really his fault. Genetics, or Loki intervened while he was in the womb. While the rest of him was just right – 10 little piggies, two blue eyes, scrunchy nose, rosebud mouth, there were his hands. Oh, 10 fingers alright – but he had hyperextended index/middle fingers. So long it appeared he was giving the finger – to the doctor who delivered him; the nurse that swaddled him; his mother and father when he was unwrapped for breast feeding. And so it went.
He spent all of his elementary and high school days in detention. More than Bart Simpson spent writing on the blackboard in 586 episodes. All he had to do was put his hand up to answer a question, and it was down to the principle’s office.
He got into a lot of fights – he studied Bruce Lee and Kwai Chang Caine. In close combat, his hyperextended middle digits could be an advantage. He also broke them on occasion. Having them in splints made the giving the finger phenomenon worse.
Antaa despaired of living a normal life. He consulted specialists and plastic surgeons. Considered joining the Jim Rose Circus, or volunteering to push buttons – important or mundane; nuclear war or floor 8. He went through a series of boring and useless jobs culminating in being the finger to tie string around in a recreation of a 19th century dry goods store.
But his whole perspective changed the day he saw Haista Vittu at the library photocopier. Her delicate hands, with wildly manicured nails, had hyperextended pinkies. The most beautiful digits he’d ever spied. It took several trips to the library to get up the nerve to introduce himself. Out of habit, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. Seeing him approach, she put her hands behind her back.
“I’m Antaa Sormi. When you finish your shift today, would you like to go for coffee at the café next door?” She blushed through her long bangs, and shyly nodded yes. Antaa started breathing again. Without thinking, he stuck out his hand to shake hers. She did the same. When their hyperextended digits touched, it was love.