If I were neater, I’d win the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes for sure. I decided that this afternoon, licking and sticking, peeling and placing all the stickers to win $5,000 a week for life. I’m messy as hell. I rip the stickers, or place them off centre. There was a bingo-type card; none of my bingo balls covered the numbers straight up and down. I, shaky with anticipation, leave creases and air bubbles in the tape I use seal the envelope. My return mail sticker is as straight as a line I can draw with a ruler which I can’t (not much better if I use a T-square).
If I were neater, then I would be the one in the TV ads with the giant cheque and balloons. Dancing on my lawn (God I hope not with the dancing!) Rich without many relatives. Rich enough to buy a house. Rich enough to go on vacation. Rich enough to . . . . actually buy something through Publishers’ Clearing House. If I were less messy putting together my Publishers’ Clearing House package, I’d be a winner then.
This stream of consciousness is for LindaGHill, SoCS: if/then. Linda, take a vacation – we can take care of ourselves for a while. Least I think we can.